1
it felt like
it smelled like
it looked like
it sounded like
You're telling.
Sight is the most overused sense in storytelling. Imagine your character is sitting on a porch swing. Around the porch is freshly cut grass and an oscillating sprinkler moving back and forth. It would be obvious to write about the rainbow formed by the water, the glint of sun on the wet grass, the contrast of the green of the lawn to the white of a picket fence. You could create a lovely and relaxing summer scene this way.
But what if your character leaned their head back and closed their eyes? Then we could "see" the same scene without sight. The smell of fresh cut grass. The ratatatat of the sprinkler. The rumble of cars passing on the street just beyond the fence. The sway of the swing. The feel of a warm breeze.
The sense of smell is the one most likely to remind you of past events. For some people, every time they smell apple pie it reminds them of someone who used to bake that dessert often. The smell of fresh cut grass can take you back to when you were a kid and your chore was to rake up the cut grass, or mow it. This is a great tool to use to invoke feeling. In romance, we do this quite a bit. Lovers reunited often think of how the scent of their lover is familiar and arousing. Don't hesitate to use this elsewhere.
The sense of touch is one that requires in depth detail. Some of the things you describe may never have been experienced by the reader. Some readers have never touched a horse. When you describe one--the velvety softness of the nose, the coarse yet silky feel of the mane and tail--think of it as if you were telling someone who had never touched one before. If you do this, you will be more likely to convey the little details that round out your description. Pain and pleasure must also be explained well. Sure you can say an ###### is an explosion of sensation, but WTF is that? *g* A stab wound is excruciating, for sure. But what does excrutiating feel like?
The sense of taste is one that can draw a reader immediately into a scene.
He woke to the taste of blood in his mouth.
Ooohhh... what happened? Did he get beat up? Who did he ###### off? You want to read the next sentence to find out. In romance, we most often use this when kissing or licking a lover, but you can use this elsewhere to create a mood.
The brandy was smooth, yet hot on his tongue, sliding down his throat like liquid fire, warming him from the inside. Intoxicating. Just as her kisses had once been. And addictive. But she would never know that.
We can see how her kisses affected him by relating it to the sensation of drinking straight liquor.
The sense of hearing, is under used IMHO, and it's such a great way to add atmosphere and ground the reader in your setting.
#1 Needing to be alone with her, he caught up her hand and led her down the hall. Her fingers were cold against his and trembling, but she didn't hold back. The distance to his study was not long, but seemed to take forever.
#2 Needing to be alone with her, he caught up her hand and led her down the hall. Her fingers were cold against his and trembling, but she didn't hold back. Their footsteps fell steadily upon the runner, the sound muffled, yet loud in the otherwise thick silence. The distance to his study was not long, but seemed to take forever.
And don't forget your gut sense!
The prickling of hair at your nape.
The shiver down your spine.
Your gut clenching.
Your character has these responses because there is the sense of something being off or different. No need to say a character was thrown off guard by the sight, sound, or smell of something. We can see it in the physical response to their gut reaction.
HOMEWORK:
Take a look at a scene in your WIP. Find all the places where you used sight to describe something, and see if using another sense would make the scene more real for your reader. Also look at places where you could have used more sensory description, but didn't. If you don't mind, post your before and after here.
