Crossfire Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 Was re reading and came across that part of the book (Bared to You) when Gideon brought Eva back to his apartment from the party at his parents' house. Where he said "I finally get what is holding us back" and he said that Eva just has to accept the fact that she is submissive and accept his control. WHAT was THAT all about? I don't see where that was coming from at all, anyone care to elaborate on this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teresac Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 I think that because of the abuse he suffered, he became a control "freak" and the way he sees Eva or anyone else will be as a submissive, so I think he just wants clear it out that he is in charge and Eva will end up doing whatever he wants, and if we pay attention well, she kind of is a submissive, she fights back, but ends up doing what he wants....just my humble opinion.Was re reading and came across that part of the book (Bared to You) when Gideon brought Eva back to his apartment from the party at his parents' house. Where he said "I finally get what is holding us back" and he said that Eva just has to accept the fact that she is submissive and accept his control. WHAT was THAT all about? I don't see where that was coming from at all, anyone care to elaborate on this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiGi Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Hi Crossfire & Teresac, I think that Gideon is in fact dominant. When he and Eva have, he needs to control the experience and the actual acts that are going on. Often times when Sylvia writes about their sexual encounters, she describes about how Gideon holds down Eva, holds her hands above her head/behind her back, and directs the angles of penetration when she is on top of him. When Eva and Gideon first had sex in the limo, it was at Eva's initiation, which I think may have freaked Gideon out a bit. I agree with you Teresac, that due to the abuse Gideon suffered it may make him more controlling but I cannot say that one is mutually exclusive with the other. Perhaps Gideon feels safer, more powerful, in control etc. when he grants pleasure and/or pain on his terms. In that way he can always be assured of the outcome. Those are just my thoughts, what do you ladies think? I look forward to the discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valgirl Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Ummm u have a point i do think he needs to be in contol pissibly cause if his abuse he does let eva initiate at times rarely but he does this is interesting though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMC Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013  Eva feels that she needs to be in control during sex because she had NO control when Nathan abused her. However, the need for Eva to be in control  makes her tense. When she submits to Gideon, she has a greater sexual experience. Eva submits (gives up her need to control) to Gideon because she is learning to trust him.... It is easier for Eva to submit because she knows that Gideon worships her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valgirl Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Very true she dies trust gid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossfire Posted February 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Yeah, I do agree on WHERE all this is coming from ie, the need to be in control, on both their sides, as consequences of their having been abuse. But what I meant was, it was funny how Gideon suddenly thought "I see where our problem is.." ..."you need to be the submissive" Huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossfire Posted February 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Or maybe AMC has a point. That SHE has to TRUST him enough to be submissive, cos, until now she has never let anyone "dominate" her because of her fear... Incidentally, I also liked the part when she pointed out that she no longer over reacts when he is with Corinne as He didnt over react to find her with Brett (or was it Christopher) .. Because they now TRUST each other. That was a good part. WAY TO GO, Sylvia! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiGi Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valgirl Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 I so agree great thought Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossfire Posted February 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think? Yes! I think this is the whole crux of the story! Which makes it a much deeper storyline than 50! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossfire Posted February 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 So THIS is the underlying thought in this singular occasion? What Gideon was trying to point out to Eva ( which she immediately came up defensive?) Sylvia needs to elaborate on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMC Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 "God." He nuzzled his mouth against my temple. "It's so perfect when you give yourself over to me like that.....all at once,as if it is a huge relief."      ---Gideon Cross  "Bared To You"   Great points, GiGi.  You all take this to another level! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossfire Posted February 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2013 Yes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie54 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Hi Crossfire & Teresac, I think that Gideon is in fact dominant. When he and Eva have, he needs to control the experience and the actual acts that are going on. Often times when Sylvia writes about their sexual encounters, she describes about how Gideon holds down Eva, holds her hands above her head/behind her back, and directs the angles of penetration when she is on top of him. When Eva and Gideon first had sex in the limo, it was at Eva's initiation, which I think may have freaked Gideon out a bit. I agree with you Teresac, that due to the abuse Gideon suffered it may make him more controlling but I cannot say that one is mutually exclusive with the other. Perhaps Gideon feels safer, more powerful, in control etc. when he grants pleasure and/or pain on his terms. In that way he can always be assured of the outcome. Those are just my thoughts, what do you ladies think? I look forward to the discussion. Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think?Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think? Hi Crossfire & Teresac, I think that Gideon is in fact dominant. When he and Eva have, he needs to control the experience and the actual acts that are going on. Often times when Sylvia writes about their sexual encounters, she describes about how Gideon holds down Eva, holds her hands above her head/behind her back, and directs the angles of penetration when she is on top of him. When Eva and Gideon first had sex in the limo, it was at Eva's initiation, which I think may have freaked Gideon out a bit. I agree with you Teresac, that due to the abuse Gideon suffered it may make him more controlling but I cannot say that one is mutually exclusive with the other. Perhaps Gideon feels safer, more powerful, in control etc. when he grants pleasure and/or pain on his terms. In that way he can always be assured of the outcome. Those are just my thoughts, what do you ladies think? I look forward to the discussion. I thought I would repost this as a couple of comments were made about the D/S scene. As a thought, look what happened to Gideon when he gave up some control, he was topping from the bottom in some respects, in the back of the limo when Eva initiated sex. He went on a head trip. He likes total control. They both need control, because they both lost it when they were abused as children. Eva through therapy, has gained self respect, but still has issues with her self esteem, and jealousy. Gideon has that route to go down with Eva's love and support. They will get there I'm sure. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnad Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Besides the 2 of them having a discussion about the dom/sub conversations.  Corinne was his first 'consensual experience" so how he had sex before is undertermined.  Also, the ring mentioning as being a collar and also, I saw one of the discussions about Corinne holding her kneck during the advocacy dinner and Eva and us immediately thought of a necklace maybe it wasn't.  We know Gideon is alot more experience than Eva. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jls1216 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think?   Hi everyone, I was just brain storming and a couple things came to mind. 1. I don't think that Eva has ever trusted anyone before Gideon. She allowed him to see all of her flaws and insecurities; jealousy, rage, etc. She also stated that she used sex as a crutch to connect or feel connected to her other partners but never really seemed to achieve that. I think with Gideon she is learning that she can give up that control, have a spectacular sexual experience and still feel worth while. 2. Gideon never resolved his issues regarding his sexual abuse and as such never had a real relationship either. Sex with Corinne was limited and they never spent any extended time or a night together. Eva seems to be the first woman that he has ever done this with. A person is lead to believe this by his statement to Eva about how he never had a woman up to his apartment (other than his mother) ever. That would be supported by the fact that he had a f*@k pad where he could take care of his sexual needs. It seems that Eva is the first woman he has ever trusted (or at least begun to trust), which is huge. 3. There was an absence in the lives of these two characters which may be something that attracted one to the other. Each person saw the one vulnerability in the other, that they had within themselves. Those are just my thoughts. What does everyone else think? I agree with you. I think it all comes down to trust. I don't think Gideon is trying to push for a BSDM relationship, he just likes control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabri Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Hello everybody!! I'm sorry I posted this somewhere else, before I saw this topic: As for D/S relationships, I have something on my mind. Eva's experience can be summed up in the term "master and servant", and all she knows about it was confirmed by a girl in group therapy: "her "master" could use her body any time and in any way he wanted, for his pleasure alone" (page 257). Does this description apply to Gedeon? I don't think so. I believe Eva hasn't realized yet that there's much more to the D/S relationship than meets the eye. First and foremost, there's the difference between "power" and "control". Eva has already experienced her "female power" over Gedeon; now she will have to put her being "controlled" by him to the test. She's obviously not at ease with the situation Gedeon has led her to imagine, because her past sexual abuses cannot but deeply affect her point of view. But she has already agreed to enter an unchartered territory with Gedeon, who is only trying at this point to find some safe marks in it. Funny how it may seem, I've been told it's the sub who is in control in a D/S relationship. Through the "safeword" prerogative, the sub exerts a much more subtle control over the supposedly dom, for it's the sub who allows thing to be done to him/her only as long as he/she feels comfortable with them (and can "say when"). Therefore, by asking about a "safeword", Gedeon is only telling Eva he wants her to feel safe in their relationship. But there's still a loooong way to go... for both of them. CIAO AND LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny720 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Was re reading and came across that part of the book (Bared to You) when Gideon brought Eva back to his apartment from the party at his parents' house. Where he said "I finally get what is holding us back" and he said that Eva just has to accept the fact that she is submissive and accept his control. WHAT was THAT all about? I don't see where that was coming from at all, anyone care to elaborate on this?  I think this is a part in the book that it could've done without. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.CrossXxXxX Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Gideon kind of lost me in his need for control. In limo he tell Eva he wants to do it again so obviously it wasn't too bad. Then he tells Eva that she can top him again issue wants to. So what's his problem? He wants control but doesn't mind when Eva is in control. Why foes he say that's the problem when he give Eva the ring? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscrph Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 I think this is a part in the book that it could've done without. I agree with you I'm not sure it was necessary either I had to read it over several times before I rationalized it and the forum discussions about it have really helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie54 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Gideon kind of lost me in his need for control. In limo he tell Eva he wants to do it again so obviously it wasn't too bad. Then he tells Eva that she can top him again issue wants to. So what's his problem? He wants control but doesn't mind when Eva is in control. Why foes he say that's the problem when he give Eva the ring?before Eva and Corrine, sex was not consensual for Gideon. When he was raped he lost control, as did Eva. It was taken away from them by the rapists. Every action was out of their control. That is why both of them need control now. But s* x with Eva is different, it's consensual, they love each other, but through gaining trust, Eva has learnt to submit. Gideon actually enjoyed the limo experience when he thought about it later, at the time it fu*ked with his head, because Eva initiated it and was in control! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie54 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Basically, when it comes to consensual s* x, Gideon was a virgin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny720 Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Basically, when it comes to consensual s* x, Gideon was a virgin.  Kind of refreshing, isn't it? LOL I love that Eva, such a strong female character, introduced Gideon to a whole new world!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachies Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Gideon kind of lost me in his need for control. In limo he tell Eva he wants to do it again so obviously it wasn't too bad. Then he tells Eva that she can top him again issue wants to. So what's his problem? He wants control but doesn't mind when Eva is in control. Why foes he say that's the problem when he give Eva the ring? I think Gideon needs control just as much as Eva does and for similar reasons. To me Gideon also has never trusted a partner in the way he trusts Eva. He was trying to find a balance of control that would work for both of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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