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Here's another idea about why Gideon let Corrine into his office and frosted the glass ... Corrine was there to show him old pictures of the two of them together. Was Gideon about to bring out the pictures of him and Eva marrying? Show Corrine the marriage certificate? He showed that stuff to Brett in his office. Does Gideon keep those copies in his desk? Maybe he was ready to hit Corrine with proof of the marriage, but by chance Eva's arrival interrupted him. Eva was there, so he instantly dropped everything to greet her, touch her, had eyes for only her and all but forgot there was anyone else present.

 

The first time I read the excerpt, I practically wanted to smack Gideon, like Eva did that day when she barged into his office thinking he'd just finished a nooner with Corrine. But reading it again and thinking about it, I recalled Gideon has a reason for everything he does. Corrine's trying to hurt Eva. He'll do anything to stop anyone from hurting Eva. So he had a reason for admitting his ex to the inner sanctum of his office, and whatever he planned to do, he was going to do without witnesses being able to see through the glass. He kicked Nathan's you know what in his office the day that monster showed up unannounced planning to hurt Eva with pictures.

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Here's another idea about why Gideon let Corrine into his office and frosted the glass ... Corrine was there to show him old pictures of the two of them together. Was Gideon about to bring out the pictures of him and Eva marrying? Show Corrine the marriage certificate? He showed that stuff to Brett in his office. Does Gideon keep those copies in his desk? Maybe he was ready to hit Corrine with proof of the marriage, but by chance Eva's arrival interrupted him. Eva was there, so he instantly dropped everything to greet her, touch her, had eyes for only her and all but forgot there was anyone else present.

 

The first time I read the excerpt, I practically wanted to smack Gideon, like Eva did that day when she barged into his office thinking he'd just finished a nooner with Corrine. But reading it again and thinking about it, I recalled Gideon has a reason for everything he does. Corrine's trying to hurt Eva. He'll do anything to stop anyone from hurting Eva. So he had a reason for admitting his ex to the inner sanctum of his office, and whatever he planned to do, he was going to do without witnesses being able to see through the glass. He kicked Nathan's you know what in his office the day that monster showed up unannounced planning to hurt Eva with pictures.

 

I think it's time he told her he was married. Her antics are getting more and more pathetic and annoying. And I'm with you. When I read the excerpt I immediately was mad at Gideon. Hopefully he has something up his sleeve. 

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I think it's time he told her he was married. Her antics are getting more and more pathetic and annoying. And I'm with you. When I read the excerpt I immediately was mad at Gideon. Hopefully he has something up his sleeve. 

 

The man's always got something up his sleeve .. and something up down in his pants. RAWR .....

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Okay, far-fetched I know, but suppose Dr Petersen's advice has been no sex till (second) wedding night! Then we will have a lot of frustration during the platonic phase and a significant wedding night.

Who am I kidding? That won't work!

Well they did have approximately 3 weeks of abstinence in RIY and they survived!! Im sure it will be hard and they will be cranky but Gideva can do it!!! LOL. :) ;)

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I'm not sure telling Corinne that he is already married will make much difference to her. She has already proven her apathy with regard to the vows as she left her husband to persue Gideon again. Also she seems the vindictive type. Gideon was trying to stop her from releasing her tell-all book. Seems to me that informing her that he is married may cause her to be more rash and hurtful in the book than she originally intended!

The original intentions of the book were to show how happy Gideon & Corrine once were in an effort to win him back. If she were to find out he was married before publication, she might do a few re-writes to make Gideon look worse or to make Eva hurt more!

She knows with the book that Gideon will have to read it to know if she is slandering him in any way, and peoples points of view are very subjective so I'm sure she can tell the same story but spin it the way she wants, without lying!

Something to consider as a possible reason for Gideon continuing to hide his marriage from Corinne...

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I'm not sure telling Corinne that he is already married will make much difference to her. She has already proven her apathy with regard to the vows as she left her husband to persue Gideon again. Also she seems the vindictive type. Gideon was trying to stop her from releasing her tell-all book. Seems to me that informing her that he is married may cause her to be more rash and hurtful in the book than she originally intended!

The original intentions of the book were to show how happy Gideon & Corrine once were in an effort to win him back. If she were to find out he was married before publication, she might do a few re-writes to make Gideon look worse or to make Eva hurt more!

She knows with the book that Gideon will have to read it to know if she is slandering him in any way, and peoples points of view are very subjective so I'm sure she can tell the same story but spin it the way she wants, without lying!

Something to consider as a possible reason for Gideon continuing to hide his marriage from Corinne...

That may be true Rogue but I think it makes Corinne look desperate if she still releases her book if the marriage is announced... people will be more interested in the secret nuptials than reading about a socialite's sour grapes... What would be the point in someone buying her book if Gideon is married to someone else?? The whole book thing just makes Corinne look incredibly pathetic. If she is thinking about landing another mogul( not Gideon) to secure her future this is a big mistake. Any potential billionaire suitor would be thinking twice before getting involved with her due to her vindictive nature...

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I'm not sure telling Corinne that he is already married will make much difference to her. She has already proven her apathy with regard to the vows as she left her husband to persue Gideon again. Also she seems the vindictive type. Gideon was trying to stop her from releasing her tell-all book. Seems to me that informing her that he is married may cause her to be more rash and hurtful in the book than she originally intended!

The original intentions of the book were to show how happy Gideon & Corrine once were in an effort to win him back. If she were to find out he was married before publication, she might do a few re-writes to make Gideon look worse or to make Eva hurt more!

She knows with the book that Gideon will have to read it to know if she is slandering him in any way, and peoples points of view are very subjective so I'm sure she can tell the same story but spin it the way she wants, without lying!

Something to consider as a possible reason for Gideon continuing to hide his marriage from Corinne...

 

Gideon told Brett about the marriage, because he wanted Brett to quit pursuing Eva. So now Brett's an outsider who knows. What if Brett shoots his mouth off to Christopher Jr., who then tells his mother, who then tells Corrine. That could get interesting. Especially if Elizabeth thinks the rumor that GidEva got married is false (gee, it wouldn't be the first time Elizabeth refused to believe something about her son.)

 

Another possibility here: Brett tells Christopher Jr., who then tells Deana. And what will she do? Think that Gideon's promise of exclusive photos was a false promise to manipulate her? Run with the story? Run with her own expose of Gideon?

 

I still don't trust Deana, and Detective Graves still worries me, and Corrine is nuts, and Anne Lucas is evil. Am I forgetting anyone? Oh yeah, the receptionist. She's up to something no good as well. I trust Magdalene now, and I hope I'm not wrong on that.

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That may be true Rogue but I think it makes Corinne look desperate if she still releases her book if the marriage is announced... people will be more interested in the secret nuptials than reading about a socialite's sour grapes... What would be the point in someone buying her book if Gideon is married to someone else?? The whole book thing just makes Corinne look incredibly pathetic. If she is thinking about landing another mogul( not Gideon) to secure her future this is a big mistake. Any potential billionaire suitor would be thinking twice before getting involved with her due to her vindictive nature...

Why doesn't she go back to her husband??? Maybe he doesn't want her back, since she left him to go after another man. That way she would be in France and our troubles would be over

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That may be true Rogue but I think it makes Corinne look desperate if she still releases her book if the marriage is announced... people will be more interested in the secret nuptials than reading about a socialite's sour grapes... What would be the point in someone buying her book if Gideon is married to someone else?? The whole book thing just makes Corinne look incredibly pathetic. If she is thinking about landing another mogul( not Gideon) to secure her future this is a big mistake. Any potential billionaire suitor would be thinking twice before getting involved with her due to her vindictive nature...

 

She's not interested in his money. She had Gideon before he was a gazzillionaire. She had him when he was just some college kid -- but even then was the incredible person he is inside. Nope, it's him and only him she wants. She threw her wealthy husband away.

 

I think Anne Lucas is her shrink and is encouraging Corrine, making her believe it's not pathetic to chase Gideon. I worry that Anne might be setting Corrine up to attack Eva somehow.

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Why doesn't she go back to her husband??? Maybe he doesn't want her back, since she left him to go after another man. That way she would be in France and our troubles would be over

 

I don't think he can forgive her: for leaving him, publicly throwing herself at Gideon, causing the death of their unborn child. The baby was unintended, but that doesn't make it any less horrifying. She left him earlier in the summer, but I wonder whether the second time, he was the one who did the leaving. After she got out of the hospital, he told her he doesn't want her back anymore?

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I think the last book is going to concentrate on resolving the problems with the women in Gideon's life. The Megumi scenario was, I believe, just a storyline to lead Eva to thinking more about working with Gideon, ditto the Lancorp stuff - I need to re-read the bits about that company but am feeling at the moment that the 'poking' and business competitiveness will continue but that it won't be a major part of the last book. Again really part of the story bringing Eva into working with Gideon.

But Anne, Corrine, Elizabeth definitely will have major parts in the book, not sure about Deanna but I feel she has not gone away and the red headed receptionist seems to be there for a reason. Brett could reappear as he is working with Gideon's half-brother and of course there is still something to resolve there.

I am also wondering how much more is to be revealed about Gideon's past s*x life? Way back in the story Eva had said she wanted to be "what you need, too" (in the library scene)and she got a taste of how he had handled some of his previous partners in the elevator scene. She also said "I want to keep you satisfied," . . ."I want to be everything you ever found in the other women you've been with" He had responded that time that as he couldn't keep his hands off her, that should tell her he didn't need more. But of course when angry and struggling for control, he did need more.

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I think the last book is going to concentrate on resolving the problems with the women in Gideon's life. The Megumi scenario was, I believe, just a storyline to lead Eva to thinking more about working with Gideon, ditto the Lancorp stuff - I need to re-read the bits about that company but am feeling at the moment that the 'poking' and business competitiveness will continue but that it won't be a major part of the last book. Again really part of the story bringing Eva into working with Gideon.

But Anne, Corrine, Elizabeth definitely will have major parts in the book, not sure about Deanna but I feel she has not gone away and the red headed receptionist seems to be there for a reason. Brett could reappear as he is working with Gideon's half-brother and of course there is still something to resolve there.

I am also wondering how much more is to be revealed about Gideon's past s*x life? Way back in the story Eva had said she wanted to be "what you need, too" (in the library scene)and she got a taste of how he had handled some of his previous partners in the elevator scene. She also said "I want to keep you satisfied," . . ."I want to be everything you ever found in the other women you've been with" He had responded that time that as he couldn't keep his hands off her, that should tell her he didn't need more. But of course when angry and struggling for control, he did need more.

 

I remember reading somewhere that the first two and a half books were about Eva overcoming her issues, and the reason Crossfire is a five book series is because Gideon has more work to do on himself than could be wrapped up in a trio. Getting his POV has been great. I see OWY as him finally breaking free of the past. Which means he first has to face it. It makes sense that women who were huge in his past, especially his mother and Corrine, will be parts of the storyline.

 

Different ways to get info on his past sex life: what Dr. Petersen can coax out of him, what he'll tell Eva and/or recall as he faces the women (like the stuff we got from his faceoff with Anne.) And that book of Corrine's. No way was the sex vanilla. He was too much of a hot mess, and she is more than willing to try things in order to keep a hold on him.

 

Something just clicked: if Corrine writes about their sex life, she'll mention the hotel. Lancorp owns that property now. Uh oh.

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I was beginning to wonder if his time with Corrine had not been vanilla - pretty sure what he said about what he did with Anne being more twisted was the worst he ever did, and the rumours Deanna mentioned of his dark side may well have come from Anne, but all we had up to CBY was Eva's POV and what he said to her - and we know he is capable of omitting to tell the full truth albeit without actually telling a lie.

And your reminding me Lancorp owns that hotel means I may have to change my mind about them not being a major part of the next book.

Is it wrong of me to feel sorry for all those who read CBY and dismissed it as having no storyline, or being pointless or a filler when in fact it is an important move along of the whole story?

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I was beginning to wonder if his time with Corrine had not been vanilla - pretty sure what he said about what he did with Anne being more twisted was the worst he ever did, and the rumours Deanna mentioned of his dark side may well have come from Anne, but all we had up to CBY was Eva's POV and what he said to her - and we know he is capable of omitting to tell the full truth albeit without actually telling a lie.And your reminding me Lancorp owns that hotel means I may have to change my mind about them not being a major part of the next book.Is it wrong of me to feel sorry for all those who read CBY and dismissed it as having no storyline, or being pointless or a filler when in fact it is an important move along of the whole story?

I still believe that Gideon's time with Corinne was vanilla... Remember when they had that first encounter in his office Gideon says "I played a role for you; I let you see what I wanted you to see; what I thought you could accept. Yes Gideon was a hot mess at that time but his mask was firmly in place and Corinne was definitely not privy to the damaged Gideon.

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I still believe that Gideon's time with Corinne was vanilla... Remember when they had that first encounter in his office Gideon says "I played a role for you; I let you see what I wanted you to see; what I thought you could accept. Yes Gideon was a hot mess at that time but his mask was firmly in place and Corinne was definitely not privy to the damaged Gideon.

Was that in the second book? Could you please tell me the chapter/page? Thanks

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Was that in the second book? Could you please tell me the chapter/page? Thanks

Its from Captivated By You, chapter 7. I'm viewing in iBooks on an ipad mini so this may not be where it is in the paperback or on kindle but I am seeing it on page 70 of 217, roughly half way into the chapter. He's in his office with Corrine.

Wonder what he thought she could accept though, I just feel that for her book to sell it really would have to have some revelations in it, not just photos of them as a couple but there has to be something juicy - what publisher would want to put out a book just about two college kids getting together in a hotel room for standard sex, her asking him to marry her and then dumping him, and he going on to earn big money with her marrying someone else with money, then finding out previous fiancé is with someone else, got engaged and now she wants him back. Whatever financial status Gideon had when they were first together, there was money in his family (and presumably in hers if they moved in the same circles). Now she's not with her husband she may feel she needs to ensure a financial future and what better than trying to get back Mr Billionaire.

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Sadly for Corinne she sees herself as a more important part of Gideon's life than she actually was. Yes she was his first consensual sexual experience and she "soothed" him as Gideon himself says but to me it sounds alot like friends with benefits. Their mothers were friends and they went to the same college and had mutual friends so I am sure they naturally gravitated toward one another. They did get engaged and then Corinne broke the engagement and as Gideon told Eva he was relieved and frankly he wasn't despondent and did not go running back to her as she had hoped . It is obvious that she had and continues to have much stronger feelings for Gideon than he ever had for Corinne. The only reason Gideon is attentive to Corinne at this point is because she is a threat to Eva. Gideon himself says that he stopped paying attention to her a long time ago and thus wasnt aware of how desperate she had become. I do believe also that Anne is Corinne's therapist and may convince her to try and hurt Eva... The only interest Gideon has in Corinne at this point is preventing collateral damage to Eva. His feelings for Corinne were resolved a long time ago.

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I still believe that Gideon's time with Corinne was vanilla... Remember when they had that first encounter in his office Gideon says "I played a role for you; I let you see what I wanted you to see; what I thought you could accept. Yes Gideon was a hot mess at that time but his mask was firmly in place and Corinne was definitely not privy to the damaged Gideon.

 

I take those words to mean some degree of kink that he thought she could handle. Probably restraints and light domination.

 

It's occurred to me that in one way, sex with Corrine was never vanilla, because from the start, it was fetish-based. Hugh evilly hard-wired into Gideon a fetish for women similar to his mother by showing the then-young Gideon sexually explicit images of women resembling his mother while forcing him into a state of physical sexual arousal. So I think his physical attraction to Corrine was purely and unconsciously based on his deeper issues.

 

OK, now don't hate me for saying something nice about Corrine, the Character We All Love to Hate. But she set Gideon down the road of the normalcy of consensual sex between two adults who had loving feelings for one another and entered into a committed relationship. She ultimately prepared him for Eva. Gideon could have gone down the darker road of becoming a pedophile himself. Instead, he tried a committed adult relationship, got something out of it and along the way learned that sharing a bed with a woman permanently wouldn't work for him (or so he believed pre-Eva.) Afterward, he avoided love and strictly segregated sexual encounters to controlled and unemotional (on his side) encounters.

 

Then came Eva, who gave him something no other woman could: making love. OK, so making love that also was at times really kinky-hawt.

 

The various reactions to the word vanilla in connection with Corrine surprise me. I wonder whether some people think that Gideon getting adventurous with Corrine somehow makes what they had for sex more meaningful. I think the opposite is true. Look at what he had with Anne Lucas. A very high kink level there, but it was depraved, and it also involved issues of physical appearance (Anne's resemblance to Hugh.)

 

Gideon got gifted at making his one-night-stands "come a thousands ways." Him driving Corrine wild would have been just more of the same. I can see him introducing kink into their relationship just to make it possible for him to continue to be able to get it up for her. Every other one of the hundreds of women he's sexually fooled around with, starting with Corrine, were only about physical release.

 

The key thing I see is that Corrine never drove him wild in return. No other woman but Eva ever has.

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Good theory. I also think the nightmares are part of the reason for not being able to stay in the same bed all night, he probably had nightmares before he met Corrine - could they be part of the reason Christopher dislikes him? Did Gideon at some point attack Christopher in his sleep?

Apart from Anne and Eva, seems like all his women had a similarity to his mother, he indicated problems with 'getting it up' with Anne (unsurprisingly due to her resemblance to Hugh), can't remember if he had such problems with other women, there was something about how he would ultimately dominate them (I can't recall the words used so can't look them up on my iBooks app). Was he drawn to those women or did they seek him out? When choosing Deanna to escape from Anne, he went true to type. Little wonder when he saw Eva in the street and thought she was an angel, he must have been more than desperate to get with her.

I have also momentarily wondered how long he has known Monica for - in CBY we get "I'd heard some say my wife was as breathtaking as her mother, but I disagreed. Monica Stanton was a cool beauty, one who gave off the air of being slightly out of reach. Eva was all heat and sensuality - you could reach her, but her passion would scorch you." Had he possibly been at an event with Monica in the past and seen how she was with Stanton, perhaps been envious that Stanton had a beauty on his arm who meant the world to him. Could something like that have primed him to notice Eva that first day?

I spent some time going through various groups on Good Reads related to the Crossfire novels, I'd never be able to find any of them again but one person did say that we should read Seven Years to Sin and remember that Gideon is not who we (at the time she was writing) think he is. I know that novel inspired Sylvia to write the Crossfire series, not sure though if it was intended that the way the characters behaved was to be similar (I've not read Seven Years, just know the guy had prostituted himself).

There have been a lot of subtle hints along the way that Gideon's knowledge of sex, bdsm, whatever, was more than was being made known via Eva's POV. It's only in CBY this begins to be confirmed, although he still avoids answering any direct questions such as any past experience of a sex swing.

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Good theory. I also think the nightmares are part of the reason for not being able to stay in the same bed all night, he probably had nightmares before he met Corrine - could they be part of the reason Christopher dislikes him? Did Gideon at some point attack Christopher in his sleep?

Apart from Anne and Eva, seems like all his women had a similarity to his mother, he indicated problems with 'getting it up' with Anne (unsurprisingly due to her resemblance to Hugh), can't remember if he had such problems with other women, there was something about how he would ultimately dominate them (I can't recall the words used so can't look them up on my iBooks app). Was he drawn to those women or did they seek him out? When choosing Deanna to escape from Anne, he went true to type. Little wonder when he saw Eva in the street and thought she was an angel, he must have been more than desperate to get with her.

I have also momentarily wondered how long he has known Monica for - in CBY we get "I'd heard some say my wife was as breathtaking as her mother, but I disagreed. Monica Stanton was a cool beauty, one who gave off the air of being slightly out of reach. Eva was all heat and sensuality - you could reach her, but her passion would scorch you." Had he possibly been at an event with Monica in the past and seen how she was with Stanton, perhaps been envious that Stanton had a beauty on his arm who meant the world to him. Could something like that have primed him to notice Eva that first day?

I spent some time going through various groups on Good Reads related to the Crossfire novels, I'd never be able to find any of them again but one person did say that we should read Seven Years to Sin and remember that Gideon is not who we (at the time she was writing) think he is. I know that novel inspired Sylvia to write the Crossfire series, not sure though if it was intended that the way the characters behaved was to be similar (I've not read Seven Years, just know the guy had prostituted himself).

There have been a lot of subtle hints along the way that Gideon's knowledge of sex, bdsm, whatever, was more than was being made known via Eva's POV. It's only in CBY this begins to be confirmed, although he still avoids answering any direct questions such as any past experience of a sex swing.

If the hotel was the only place that Gideon had consensual sex, how did he afford it? If he was in college he was probably between the

ages of 18-22. I still wonder how he got his money. If he got it gambling (as he said in RIY) he had to be over 21. Hopefully Vidal

gave him some money or an "allowance". He probably didn't own the hotel in college just "rented" the room for the night???

A big chunk of Gideon was revealed in CBY that we had no idea of. How strongly he felt about control to the point of the BDSM, but

I don't think it is to ( I hope) the extreme of CG in FSOG. Too bad he didn't start talking to Sylvia sooner, then we wouldn't

have so many questions.

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If the hotel was the only place that Gideon had consensual sex, how did he afford it? If he was in college he was probably between the

ages of 18-22. I still wonder how he got his money. If he got it gambling (as he said in RIY) he had to be over 21. Hopefully Vidal

gave him some money or an "allowance". He probably didn't own the hotel in college just "rented" the room for the night???

A big chunk of Gideon was revealed in CBY that we had no idea of. How strongly he felt about control to the point of the BDSM, but

I don't think it is to ( I hope) the extreme of CG in FSOG. Too bad he didn't start talking to Sylvia sooner, then we wouldn't

have so many questions.

 

Gideon "counted cards" playing black jack. It's how he got his start, getting money and making business connections while gambling. Technically it's not against the law to count cards, but casinos consider it cheating and are brutal about clamping down on it. One technique card counters have is to keep changing their physical appearance. So I could envision Gideon wearing various disguises to make himself look older and also have fake IDs to show his age at 21 or older. The nearest major casinos to New York City are in Atlantic City, a little over two hours away by car, so it's somewhere Gideon could easily get to, unlike Las Vegas, which is thousands of miles away. There are a couple of casinos north of New York City as well in the state of Connecticut, another relatively easy drive by car.

 

Some things I wonder about the hotel: How frequently did he use it when he was with Corrine? When did he permanently start renting a room there (instead of getting a room for the night?)  On a related question, did his permanently getting a room coincide with him picking up women on average about twice per week? When did he buy the property?

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Eva asked Gideon if he had an f-pad when in college - he didn't answer the question, although a few paragraphs later whens he mentioned imagining seeing him around on campus she asks "So . . . did you have a sex pad for the rare occasions some lucky b**** got you in bed?" His responses to that were that he had always used the hotel, and to her then comment was it the only place he had sex before her, it "was the only place I've had consensual sex, before you." Twenty pages (on my iPad) later Corinne enters the story.

The hotel must have been conveniently placed for Gideon and Corinne to get to from Columbia, also close to the gym - the gym he steered Eva to join him using because he knew they would be having sex and obviously needed to be near his f-pad for that. (I was going to say how could an 18 year old be taken for older but I know one of my nephews has been accepted as being over 21 without having to show ID and I don't think he looks 18 yet).

I wonder if he bought the hotel after Corinne had broken off the engagement rather than while with her. He would have realised he couldn't take women home, and as he's already been 'conditioned' into the way he carried out his sexual activity and having established that he could 'get it up' whilst at the hotel it would have made sense to him to always go there. Plus the staff there must have been discrete so he trusted them not to publicise his activities.

But I do wonder if he's had non-consensual sex elsewhere - I can't see him having had a sex swing at the hotel (too difficult to conceal and you really would have to trust the staff not to talk about something like that) always assuming he had already had experience of that.

We really do need that last book - it's still not even mentioned on her coming soon page, the FAQ still says CBY hasn't released worldwide yet - come on Penguin, pull your fingers out and get it fully published so we can at last be told when we are going to get the rest of the story. Remembering her response to the question of whether CBY and OWY would be released close together "To be honest, it would be impossible to release two Crossfire books at the same time or even within weeks of each other, for various production, distribution, and marketing reasons. I'd say four to six months is the closest two Crossfire novels could be to one another. " Four months have gone and I was hoping the last one would be out by six months, ideal holiday reading.

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Hi Everyone,
I have read the postings and I just wanted to clarify that the difference between sexual abuse and pedophilia.  I just wanted everyone to be clear that there is absolutely no correlation between having been sexually abused and becoming a pedophile.
 
To imply that being abused predisposes an individual to becoming a pedophile is not true.  There is no credible or reliable evidence that proves that theory.  I also don't believe that Gideon would have ever travelled down a "dark path" and become a pedophile Corrine or no Corrine.  Many people who have been abused engage in self-harming (i.e. alcohol, drugs, suicide, depression, etc.) as opposed to harming others.
 
What is at issue here is that Gideon had to reconcile himself with the fact that he was a sexual being who had/has needs and he had to navigate a very scary part of life; sex, in a way that made him feel safe.   I don't know that the type of sex was the key, but the fact that he had to be in control in order for him to remain emotionally safe was key.
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Gideon had worries about having his own children - in the scene where Ireland joined him during the night she stayed over:

she says "you'll have kids by then. It won't be as fun"

He thinks "I paused, hit by anxiety sharp enough to mist my skin with sweat. The thought of having a baby with Eva both thrilled and terrified me. It wasn't save for my wife to live with me. How could it ever be safe for a child?"

Further on after the visit from the apartment planner, when Cary was with Eva and Gideon Cary mentions the possibility of a nursery and Eva immediately responds the room could be a guest room. Because she dodged the idea by changing the subject Gideon thinks "Did Eva have the same fears I did? Maybe she'd taken me as a husband because she couldn't help herself, but drew the line at taking me as a father to her children."

Perhaps that could be interpreted as he was worried that, after being abused himself he might abuse his own children although I am more inclined towards the nightmares causing a problem. I have read that some abused children grow up to continue the abuse but have no idea what the scale of that is to those who grow up to have a normal relationship with their own children.

But definitely not a paedophile - that is people who are attracted to young children, not sure if that can be learned behaviour or if it is something that is inbuilt into certain human's psyche (I'm basing that thinking on such as gay people do not learn to be bay/become gay because of an event in their lives but have something within themselves which means they are attracted to the same gender).

So far as we know Gideon did not go down the road of self-harming but you never know, something could crop up in the last book about that although, unlike the slight bdsm he has seemingly been involved in, there have been no subtle hints in previous books (unless someone recalls something I've forgotten).

And I agree with GiGi's last sentences, Gideon had to resolve how to handle his sexual nature as well as deciding that he would shelve any problems by burying them deep in his mind - sadly unable to completely forget them so not the ideal way to sort his life out.

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